Why do you have to be so perfect for~Sometimes i wish I could see the other side of you to know your like all of us.Im totally over welmed today,,That I do not know where to begin,So confused,Feeling like im running in circles..I wanna do this or that,But cant,.I just cant get with it any more.Im tryn to figure out what is wrong with me.That my nerves are really doing a number on me.I figured out why.I try not to leave any stone unturned with myself.I do alot of soul searchng,Something most people just dont do,Nor do they know who they are.I figured it out,It was that fact,I was told once again I couldnt speak to you After years of tryn.It drove me nuts subconsciously NOT TO BE ABLE TO REACH OUT TO YOU.I felt like I was being tortured or my hands were hand cuffed from reaching out to you Again.I think about your life,And how it must be,And Then i think of how I am,And what I can handle,and what I cant.I know I care about you deep in my heart,But I also know,That it would be hell on me to ever be with you,Would I risk doing it.I keep telling myself No,When my heart says yes.Too bad,Love wasnt a true forever thing.Seems like people are only in love for 3 years then things start burning out.I have so many flaws,Espeacilly right now,That id find it really hard to think anyone would ever care about me.In fact,Its been super glued in my head,No one ever could or would.I dont know whats wrong with me,a hopeless case I guess.Just wanting a life like everyone else,I dont think Id no how to act.Id probably be cryn every day,Thanking God just to be with you.I know id be cryn all the time.But Im so scared that id ever do something wrong that A guy would compare me with someone else.I get scared easy,I do not know how to act.Theres women every day,That move in with men all the time.I wonder how can they do that,and the guy feeling comfortable with it being that way.I think everyone is a alpha in there own home.Its a scarey thought to do something wrong in someone elses home to cause them to not want you there with them.Guys come here to visit,Not even a relationship,And i cant handle it at all.Either its the alcohol that gets to me,See'n it every day,I hate that with a passion.Or ya find out there into drugs,then ya surely want them to leave.Or there just on top of ya all the time,Or just a fixture and not there to help ya.Id be there to help someone,If it were me.Im not lazy,But right now,Very very very confused.I wanna be with you,For even a hour or so,And never can~~~Now your too busy for me~
There alot of women you could choose from,It wouldnt be me.Ive never been with a guy,Id be so scared of doing something wrong.Nor Doing anything Right.
I dont wanna be somebody im not.I dont wanna get a low selfesteem cause I have to feel like Im competeing with the world to be with you.Id rather wait till your old,To where I can hold ya all the time,Be with ya.Till then,I wanna leave here.I cant take it anymore.I wanna life like everyone else.To live in peace,To be with someone i can have.Someone for once I can call,Someone I can climb in bed with and watch movies with.I wanna a life!Tears flow down my face.Ive never seen it.I dont want money,I dont want anything you have.All I want is the basics of life,and thats Love.I cant get that here.
.Ive been in Love with you for so long,Its killing me lonely nights alone.And theres never a night that goes by that i dont think of you before i fall asleep.I worry about you so much.Even if your in public,Id stand in front of you if any one were to try and hurt you.Theyd have to kill me first.
I cant take this no more.Every where i go,If I see a cute chick,I think,Aww he could have her if he wanted,or her.He'd never want me.It hurts way too deep.
Because of you.Cause it hurt me to much not being with you,And "You"Are the Every Breath I take!
"I will Always Be In Love with You" |
